I stumbled across this website fixedearth.com
It is awesome. The author always puts the word ‘science’ and ‘mathematics’ in quotations like this:
“…until Copernicun and finally Newton’s Kabbalist “mathematics” scared the church into thinking that “science” had proof of heliocentricity.”
I had to dig for a few minutes to find out where the word ‘Kabbalist’ was coming from. Apparently these people believe that our “mathematics” and evolutionary “science” are an anti-Bible agenda perpetuated by mystical Jewish teachings. And it’s been a conspiracy throughout time, roles played by Newton, Copernicus, Einstein, etc, to set the stage for the Big Bang Theory and Evolution.
Sounds reasonable to me. Now to go for a run because my “legs” are cramping from all the sitting I’ve been doing in “chairs.”
Ah yes, when I think of the defining trait of Atheism, it is surely that babies are tasty. A close second is lack of belief in a god, but yes the tastiness of babies is most definitely the first.
You might not know this about me, but I am a gifted psychic. An atheist psychic? I know, but I was able to use my psychic power to uncover the thoughts of the creator of this image. His name is Walter McDipshit and he lives at your local Planned Parenthood picket line. He’ll be damned if those girls get their hands on some condoms!
Walter’s thoughts:
Hmmmm…I hate me some atheists. How can I really stick it to ‘em? Hitler comparison….nah I think he might have been Christian…I could write a mean letter to that Stephen Hawking moron…oh wait a minute, something to do with abortion!
Yes, yes, yes. Atheists are evil; evil people hurt babies; hamburgers are tasty; atheists like eating a lot of food because they’re gluttonous sinners; atheists eat babies!!!
Well done, Walter McDipshit. I will submit your latest argument to a prominent philosophy journal. If you’re reading, please email me if there need to be any corrections before I forward it along.
Walter’s argument:
1. I don’t like atheists because they are evil
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2. Therefore, atheists eat babies encased in oversized hamburger ingredients.
School recalls evolution-themed shirts
In this article: Smith-Cotton High School recalled t-shirts being worn by their band. The theme is “Brass Evolutions” and the shirts feature the classic “ape evolving into an upright human” image. Some parents complained, now the shirts are gone.
My favorite part about this article is that Assistant Superintendent Brad Pollitt said that the district is required by law to remain neutral on religion, and that he would have recalled the shirts if they had had religious symbols as well.
Thanks Pollitt, for a second I thought evolutionary biology was science, but now I remember, it’s really just an anti-Christian agenda. To express my frustration, I have written a letter. I understand not all Christians reject evolution, so here I’m addressing only the ones who do.
Dear evolutionary theory-denying Christian,
Hello, how are you? I am writing to ask you a simple question because I am very confused. My question is, are you playing a joke on us? Why, in the face of overwhelming evidence, do you claim that evolution is a lie? I think that is like me telling my friend that I am actually a shark even though he can clearly see I am not. Also, you have done this before.
It was that whole big mess with astronomy back in the 16th and 17th centuries. You know, when God told us that Earth was the center of the universe, and that the Sun revolved around us? Wow that was silly. Why was God so wrong? Was it because he forgot? Did God get all hopped up on ambrogia and forget what he did last night (design the laws of physics)?
So I guess I am asking if it is a joke because this whole evolution thing is like the astronomy thing all over again. You’re going to deny, deny, deny, persecute some people, then finally lose because after all I am not a shark am I. And I bet you will do it all again 100 years in the future when scientists inevitably discover that Noah’s Ark was actually the time traveling vessel N.O.A.H.A.R.K. (Necromancers’ Operation for Advanced Hair and Age Regeneration of the previously Killed). Those Necromancers will surely have heard of The Resurrection and attempt to go back and steal the technology from Jesus.
Anyways, I suppose it is a pretty good joke. Sometimes when I am bored I draw pictures of men riding dinosaurs and it makes me laugh. But sometimes I draw a picture of myself as a shark and that is not funny.
Sincerely,
G.D.
Welcome friends and foes!
Welcome to one plus one. The idea behind one plus one is to consider a variety of topics through the eyes of reason, rationality, and other wonderful things like science, math and logic. 1 + 1 = 2, always and forever (in base 10**). I believe that arguments regarding religion, conspiracy theories, and anything else work the same way, and that by examining the evidence and applying some critical thinking, we can figure out things like the fact that the Earth is not 6,000 years old. So it is in this spirit that I shall stand atop my soap box and call a bunch of people idiots and explain why it is so. Also, there will be jokes.
Sound like fun? It will be. Not only will I scour the internet daily for interesting fodder, but I will also rely heavily on your emails. So please email me your opinions, links to videos/pictures/articles, or anecdotes at: gd.oneplusone@gmail.com
By the way, my name is G.D. Well, not really. But that’s what I’ll go by so that the 9/11 conspirators don’t track me down and prevent me from exposing that it was an inside job. ‘G.D.’ stands for ‘Galileo’s Dick’. I chose this pseudonym carefully. I believe that if Galileo had had the chance, he would have pulled out his dick and danza smacked all those religious nuts that tried to burn him for repping his bro Copernicus and informing all of them that, “This here Earth be spinnin’ ‘round that there Sun.” —Galileo circa 1611
Let’s get this party started.
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** Thanks to Kent who informed me, “In binary, 1+1 = 0 ftw”.
Memorable Quotes:
Don’t be a fool, heliocentricity is cool.
— Galileo circa 1612
